So… wow, it’s almost the start of the school year, which means it’s basically the end of summer. Where on Earth did it go?!? (There’s an excellent chance I slept through it, but more on that later.)
The last time I posted anything (at the beginning of summer) I said I was feeling a little sad, mourning a routine that I had known for years and was just overall out of sorts. When I posted that, I was foolish enough to think the feeling would pass pretty quickly. A couple of months later and I realize that my optimism, while well intentioned, was very, very naive.
I’ve spent the summer in a little bit of a daze. I’ve exerted my energy on the necessities, like doing my job to the best of my ability and pulling my parenting weight helping keep Brody taken care of and happy. Don’t get me wrong, there’s certainly been awesome, happy and/or relaxing moments this summer. I haven’t even been overly sad, it’s more that the everyday movements have been, as the title suggests, a bit of a slog.
And then there’s been the sleeping.
Around the beginning of June, I started noticing that I had started getting very sleepy. So sleepy I couldn’t keep my eyes open sometimes. Like, anytime I was a passenger in a car, or tried to watch a movie or sat down for a while or basically even stood still for too long. These spells didn’t care if it was daylight or dark or where I might be or what I might be doing.
I went to my go-to scapegoat first. Of course, my thyroid had to be out of whack! That had been my problem the last time I found myself longing to lay down in the middle of the grocery aisle for a quick nap. I basically ran to get blood work done, only to find out that, nope, my thyroid was functioning just fine. Well, damn.
With that out of the way, my mind was clear to see the most obvious answer. Why, duh, there’s simply no way I haven’t developed narcolepsy! That has to be it!
Well, WebMD wouldn’t even back me up on that one. And it didn’t even have a sleep cancer diagnosis waiting. Damn, again. (Excessive daytime sleepiness was the diagnosis the online narcolepsy quiz gave me. As if I didn’t already at least have that part figured out.)
That’s when I finally had to admit that, obviously, I was most likely feeling depressed. Of course, the death of a loved one, the upheaval of a daily routine (no matter how exhausting it occasionally was), my kid becoming an honest to goodness teenager and just the regular stress of work was a bit of a kick in the ass. I’m not sure why this wasn’t clear from the get-go.
Since realizing this, I actually have been able to start to push through the fog and attempt to get back on track. And it’s finally starting to work. I’m starting to feel a little more like myself and getting back to a new normal day. I’ve felt like creating something again finally, hence writing this, and looking at baking recipes. I’ve read more (I started this series called Harry Potter. And, you all, I think it could really take off. It could get pretty popular).
I have even cleaned things. (Insert shocked faced emoji here.)
It’s nice to start feeling more normal. Even if it is taking chia seeds, coconut oil and apple cider vinegar to keep it up.